During a seventeen course meal the other night, I realized something: I talk a lot about women on my blog. And while that’s great and my advice has led to innumerable amounts of lay-age, sometimes it leaves other things by the wayside. Like food. I’ve been increasing my caloric intake ever so slightly as of late and you’d be surprised how describing the life force of the world can be synonymous with describing the life force of my bedroom. Don’t believe me? Take a look at the phrases below and try and figure out whether I’m describing a girl or type of food. Good luck.
1. “Tasty white breast”
2. “Large, meaty and can ruin your night”
3. “Swedish meatballs”
4. “The hottest thing ever”
5. “Just turned 18.”
6. “Asian fusion”
7. “Full of crabs”
8. “Ham and cheese sandwich on toasted rye bread”
1. Food: Chicken
2. Food: Steak Burrito
3. Girl: Swedish breasts
4. Trick question: Food/Girl: Buffalo wings / Heidi Klum eating buffalo wings
5. Food: Single Malt Scotch (yeah, I know it’s a drink)
6. Girl: Lucy Liu + Kelly Hu + the Barnacle.
7. Food: Any Red Lobster restaurant
8. Food: It says ham and cheese on toasted rye bread. Use your brains.
(Barney is a character in TV serial How I Met Your Mother!)